Imagine this…. 

You’re sitting in the car park at work with a splitting headache and with that sinking feeling of here we go again.  The 3 coffees you’ve downed already to give you a bit of an energetic lift haven’t helped; in fact, you feel more than a little shaky.  Your phone has lit up like a Christmas tree with fires you’re expected to put out, yet all you want to do is book a room at the nearest hotel, close the blinds and sleep for days. 

Hello burnout!  

It’s not pretty, and sadly it’s not uncommon. And while I’m no doctor, I’ve come out the other side, and so can you. 

My experience of burnout showed up after a corporate takeover.  Overnight my job role changed, and the leadership style was at odds with how I work best. I found myself doing work that did not allow me to work to my strengths and my job performance plummeted.   

My confidence was knocked for six, my brain was foggy and I found myself bursting into tears for the most trivial annoyances. But worst of all was the long list of unexplained medical symptoms. 

So, what is burnout?   

Here’s a definition by the Mayo Clinic that I think sums it up well.  

“It’s a special type of work-related stress — a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity.”  

But it’s this list of personality traits of people who more commonly experience burnout that captured my attention.  

• A tendency towards perfectionism or a type-A personality 
• Being hyper-competitive or comparing oneself to others 
• Difficulty asking for help or support 

• Inability to prioritize work tasks and adjust effort accordingly  
• Identifying one’s job as the most important part of who you are 

Over the last 10 years working with dedicated, hardworking mid career women, I’ve met many women who have found themselves deep within the dark tunnel of burnout.  And many of these women have displayed one or more of these characteristics.  Interesting!  

If you have been wondering if you’re teetering on the edge of burnout – you know you should do something about it.   

A week off work curled up on the couch watching Netflix or escaping to a beautiful beach in the sunshine may seem like the perfect quick fix … but sadly it’s unlikely to do the trick.  You don’t reach a place of burnout overnight – so it’s fair to say you’ll need more than a band aid solution to get you back to feeling fresh and alive and loving your work. 

So, what does work? 

Here are my top 3 pieces of advice for anyone noticing symptoms of burnout. 

1. Take a breath.  
Let’s start by acknowledging where you are at. Notice how you are feeling and how it’s impacting you, your work and your personal life.  

Is it time to draw a line in the sand and commit to creating change and putting you and your health first for a while?  

You already know that self-care is key to moving beyond burnout… so let’s make sure you are making time for sleep, exercise, mindfulness, fun or whatever it is that helps you to feel calm, centered and more like you.  

2. Prioritise like a pro.  
The next step is to do a stock take on all the things on your plate right now… and I mean all of it.  Not just the work stuff – but the home stuff too.   

Despite what some people might think – not everything is urgent.  Spend time getting really clear on what things are most important.  Be ruthless.  I mean really ruthless!   

To help clarify your highest priorities, ask yourself; “If I could only focus on THREE things on this list – what would they be?”  

It’s time to lighten your load and let some things go.  Let go of doing it all.  Especially let go of doing it all without help and support.  Let go of striving for perfection.   

What you need more than anything else right now is space to think, breathe and rejuvenate.   

3. Commit to change.   
If you keep doing the same things, you will keep getting the same result!   

But given you’ve read this far… you’re ready to reignite your spark and reclaim your work mojo.  And for that – things will need to change.  Let’s start by setting clear boundaries, saying no and delegating.   

Recognise where you are over functioning – and allowing others to under function.  For example, are you doing your team members’ work because it’s easier and quicker to just do it yourself? Or have you failed to recognise that your kids are now old enough to make their own lunch, fold the laundry or cook dinner for the family once in a while? 

Or perhaps the change you need comes in the form of a new job?  If your growth has plateaued, or you’ve fallen out of love with our role or you’re uninspired by your leader – then hoping and waiting for things to get better is rarely the answer.  

 Intuitively we know when we are heading towards burnout – but we often stick our head in the sand – too busy or too exhausted to do anything about it until it’s too late.   

The solution to my burnout was to eventually quit – without another job to go to.  But that’s because I left it too long before finding ways to stop it in its tracks.  Take it from me – you don’t want to do this!   

If you have battled fatigue and poor motivation, coupled with a bunch of unexplained illnesses – then now is the time to act, put yourself first and start looking for ways to find the best version of you again.  

One option might be to join our 8-week group coaching program IGNITE.  It’s designed to provide accountability and support to do this work.  You can check out the details here. 

Last week we farewelled my partner’s Mum… at the ripe old age of 101!

Sadly, I never got to know her before dementia stole her memory and much of her spark, but Betty clearly was a special woman. As I sat in the chapel listening to her life story, I reflected on how different her life would have been if she had lived in a different era.

Her family shared how she was remarkable for being unremarkable.

She was a good 1950’s wife of a high-level public servant, moving across the country, with each new work opportunity and promotion. She cooked a mean Sunday roast, was known for her practical dressmaking skills (including making my partner’s first surfboard cover) and kept a neat and tidy home for her family.

In contrast, her early adult life was a life of financial independence, work, freedom and fun.

As an 18 year old woman she had moved out of home and lived independently, working in a range of administration type roles. From the stories shared, it was clear she was a feisty, determined and strong woman of her time.

During the war she enlisted in the WAAAF (Women’s Auxiliary Australian Airforce) and rose to the rank of Sargent.

She clearly had spunk and sparkle being engaged to be married no less than SIX times. In amongst her personal treasures, we’ve found small black and white photographs of dashing young men in air force uniforms. I wonder what happened to these men. Sadly, I suspect they did not live long and fulfilling lives given their war time profession.

She finally married at the age of 23 and left the workforce, never to work outside the home ever again.

I wonder what type of career Betty would have had if she had been born into a different era. What type of leader could have she been? How would she have contributed? What profession would she have chosen?

I may be wrong, but I like to believe she could have been destined for a long and significant career.

I personally can’t imagine a life focused purely around home keeping and family and am grateful for the degree of choice and opportunity we have.

At times, I’m frustrated by the slow progress of change when it comes to women’s contribution in the workplace. Then I think about women like Betty, and I’m reminded how far we’ve come in the last 100 years.

As we navigate this post covid world, I believe we are entering a time of huge growth and opportunity for women. Many of the systems, structures and ways of working have broken and we now have a rare opportunity to reshape our working world as we transition to our new normal.

But just like Betty did – seizing a rare opportunity to work in a leadership role during the war, it’s up to each of us to be courageous and seize the opportunity.

If we want the world of work for women to continue to progress – now is the time to lean in and have a say.

This might mean stepping up to lead in a way that’s right for you rather than modelling outdated styles that don’t align with who you are. It might mean taking a stand for what you believe is important or resisting the temptation to revert to old ways of working when there’s an opportunity to build a better way forward.

Change doesn’t come without discomfort or a degree of resistance. It’s rarely easy and almost always requires courage.

Imagine 100 years from now ….

I wonder how we will see leadership, the contribution of women and what the working environment will be like?

Take a moment today to think about how you might be able to contribute to reshaping leadership and our working world.